Middle School Sex Series

Dear Parent of a Middle School Student,

Any topic can be awkward to talk about if you don’t have a good game plan. And fewer topics bring that discomfort into sharper focus than sex. The big S. “The talk.” There are very few issues more daunting—especially if you’re 12 and have just discovered your hormones. Messages about sex reach students in a barrage of mediums ranging from music, television, magazines, and peers. We want to be sure that two of the voices your student hears on this topic is the church and you as a parent.

Parents, we want to go on this journey with you and affirm you as we take on this critical subject.
Although we will be addressing this same topic for high school, we are going to tailor the messages into appropriate Middle School language. In fact, to assist you in this process, we purchased curriculum from Saddleback Church and will be teaching through their same content with a few modifications from the speakers. Rather than shock you with cultural statistics, please take some time and read over each message located on our church web site. Also feel free to interact on this blog.

If after reviewing the content, you feel your student would be better off not having this content, we are going to offer an alternative teaching on relationships in a small group format.

Thanks for entrusting your student to our care and we look forward to teaching this crucial content!

Matt Silver

Bullying (Middle School)

Bullying affects everyone in some way. Either we’ve witnessed it, been bullied, or have even bullied someone else. Perhaps all three things have happened this week! The statistics on bullying are shocking. Take a look at the following…

Bullying can be defined as a person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people (Dictionary.com). One of the most painful aspects of bullying is its relentlessness. The seemingly never-ending nature of bullying can put a person in a state of constant fear, and guys and girls who are bullied may find their schoolwork and health suffering (kidshealth.org).

In this message we looked at Jesus’ life on earth and reflected on the ways He was bullied and looked into his example to see how He responded.

WAS JESUS BULLIED? - Yes
He faced many of the same things that students face today! He was driven out of towns, often threatened with violence (even being stoned to death), was called names such as a drunkard and demon possessed, and was despised and hated!

Isaiah 53:3 He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.

HOW DID HE GET THROUGH? – He Knew who he was -
It’s crucial that we know who we are to not get distracted by the negative affect of bullying. Sticks and Stones break our bones and Words do to if we do not have a good sense of who we are!

Mark 1:9 One day Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee, and John baptized him in the Jordan River. 10 As Jesus came up out of the water, he saw the heavens splitting apart and the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy.”

HOW DID HE RESPOND? - He responded in Love… forgiving them!

Retaliation is our initial response to bullying. We either fire back ourselves in an attempt of defense or harbor ill feelings for the bully and have a hard time moving past the pain. Forgiveness does not easily rise to the top of our responses but this is how Jesus responded to his attackers.

Luke 23:33-34 - 33 When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on his right and one on his left. 34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.

We ended the message by looking at Romans 12.

Romans 12: 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with
everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” 21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Bullying… Now What?

• Know who you are, A CHILD OF GOD!
• Be aware of YOUR ACTIONS towards others!
• Learn to SHOW LOVE to those around you, even the bullies!
• Either FORGIVE someone or ASK for forgiveness!

Special Needs

This week we talked about disabilities. Following is an abbreviated outline presented by Jenna Howell.

I am very passionate about this topic. This is a topic that impacts me on a personal level. My cousin has Down syndrome.
In fact, the reason why we are talking about this subject is because it impacts us all. According to the US Census, approximately 1 out of 5 Americans has a disability. We all know someone with a disability.

We are going to debunk misconceptions about disabilities and replace these misconceptions with truths.

Misconception #1: Having a disability makes you less valuable.
There are some major problems putting value in abilities. First, there is never enough to satisfy. We always want more. The other problem is that the less money we make, less stuff we have, and the less beautiful we are than we are worth-less. We have less worth.
The misconception that you are less valuable because you do not the ability to achieve things that our society deems note worthy is not true. Here is the truth:

Truth #1: Your abilities have nothing to do with your value.
The good news is that we don’t have to accept society’s measurement of worth. God created us and God made us more valuable than anything else in the Universe.

The Bible says in Matthew 10:29-31, "What's the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk. You're worth more than a million canaries (The Message).”
God accepts us for who we are: our abilities and disabilities because He created us in His Image. We have immeasurable worth because God values us.

Misconception #2: People with disabilities need my sympathy.
It is a natural tendency to feel sorry for someone with disabilities. We need to see the person as God sees the person: someone who’s value is not defined by disabilities.
We need to remove this frame of mind and replace it with the truth:

Truth #2: People with disabilities need my support.
The greatest example of how to support someone with disabilities is found in the Bible, Mark chapter 2 verses 1-5. 1A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." (NIV)

I pray that I have friends like this. Do you have friends who would carry you? Better yet, are you a friend who would carry another?
As we learned from the paraplegic, supporting those with disabilities is not always easy. It can be awkward and scary. You don’t always know what to say or do. You may need to exert patience and grace. Here are some tips on how you can support those with disabilities:

One way that you can support someone with disabilities is with your words.
We often are unaware of the impact of our words. Proverbs 12: 18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”(NIV)

There is one word in particular that cuts deep. The word is “retarded.” I want to challenge you to eliminate this word from your vocabulary.

Another way that you can support someone with disabilities is with your time.
There are tons of opportunities for you to support people with disabilities with your time. Mountain Christian Church, also, has its own Special Needs Ministry that would love for you to hang out with them on Sundays mornings during 11 o’clock service. This ministry cannot support those with disabilities if there are not friends who are willing to sacrifice and help carry them to Jesus.

Misconception #3: Disabilities are a mistake.
Disabilities are associated with negative emotions—disappointment, fear, upset, anger, etc. I know for a fact that because these are the emotions that I had when I found out that my cousin was born with Down syndrome. I thought God made a mistake.

Truth #3: God does not make mistakes.
I Thessalonians 5: 18 says, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

It was because of my cousin, Faith, that my family now has faith—faith in Jesus. She is the reason we started attending church and accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

NO LAUGHING MATTER

We’ve entitled this series No Laughing Matter, due to the nature of the topics. Disabilities, Bullying (middle school only), Homosexuality (high school only), and Depression/Suicide are topics that surround the lives of students but are often considered hush, hush within the context of the church. It is our hope that by addressing these difficult topics, students will begin to wrestle with each of these topics and think how each affects them personally as well as his/her peers. I welcome your questions, thoughts, and opinions on this series.

What If

This week addressed the question... "What If?" The message focused on two aspects. First, what if tragedy struck and you lost a good friend? Sharing our faith can be very difficult and scary, yet the message must be shared with others. CT (Christian Thompson) shared the story of Esther and how God used her message to save the people. Because of her risk taking and willingness to share God's message, God's people were saved.

The Second theme of the evening was, "what if tragedy struck your own life?" How would you be remembered? What faith story would your life communicate? We ended this series reflecting on the same life timeline that we began the series and made it clear that our timeline's have an end. It is thinking through that reality of the future, that helps us make wise choices for the future.

Beyond Recognition

Romans 12:1-2
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is true worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

If we want to transform we cannot conform.

The Beyond Recognition message focused on the need to transform ourselves after we enter into a relationship with God.

This transformation does not come easily and involves a struggle against ourselves. We began the message discussing the best TV Show on the planet (I guess this could be argued), Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Assuming you've watched the show, the same predictable pattern is present:

• A family tells the story of it's struggles.
• The community discusses how great the individuals need is and how, despite their difficult situation is, they continue to serve others.
• The family discusses what needs to happen to better their situation.
• The family goes on an awesome getaway.
• They watch their house be destroyed.
• Their home is constructed.
• They come home.

It is so awesome to watch these stories unfold. There are certainly some parallels from that show to our own spiritual life. We too have struggles, we have been separated from God as a result of sin. Our home, needs a little Ty to get rebuilt. Jesus comes into our lives and orchestrates change. Our baptism into Christ resembles the demolition of our former house. That's where the similarities stop.

For the Christian, there is no, "MOVE THAT BUS" reveal to show the remade us. Our lives remain and continue to be in construction phase. It's an interesting coordinated effort in which Jesus refuses to do all the work for us, yet without the assistance of Jesus, our efforts produce nothing.

We looked at the healing of the paralytic Mark 2:1-12 and discussed the following questions with regard to our transformation:

DO YOU KNOW WHAT NEEDS FIXED??? The paralytic knew his legs didn't work properly. Do we know what needs transformed in our own lives?

DO YOU QUIT WHEN YOU FACE BARRIERS??? As they went to approach Jesus they realized that they couldn't get to Jesus through the crowd. However, they persevered and created a new way. Are we willing to press on when it gets hard, or do we just quit and say we tried?

WHAT CAN HELP??? WHAT ARE YOUR RESOURCES??? The paralytic had a set of friends who were willing to help him out. They also used resources to get on the roof and also through the roof.

ARE YOU GOING TO GOD??? The guys all went to Jesus. It is so easy to go everywhere else with our problems and not want to "bother" God. Do we go to Jesus?

WHAT IF THE PROBLEM YOU WROTE DOWN IS NOT YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM? Jesus displayed more concern over the man's sin issue rather than his physical issue. What if the thing that we are most concerned with isn't our biggest problem?

Tough Love

This week we focused on tough love. Not the tough love you would receive from a parent or coach but rather a tough love that is love channeled to others rather than to self.
If we were going to be honest with ourselves, we are all pretty selfish. We have a natural tendency to look out for our own personal interests. That could be everyday pleasures, defense, or looking to get ahead in life.

We made a statement that if you commit to tough love two things will happen.
1) We will become better friends, students, children, in every role to others
2) We will learn how to help others become their best. (Last week the focus was on our value God because we are unique and have a purpose. This week we need to convey that message to others!)

In order to make this kind of shift, we almost need to switch places totally with other people in order to see what others really need and are about. We looked at Philippians 2: 1-11 for a plan.

From this text we discover the following:

• Our value is found in God


• We’re all on the same journey


• We tend to look at our own needs first and this should not be!


• If we are selfish we begin to be competitive in relationships, and every area of life and therefore look at others as competitors. We view things as either wins or losses. When there is a winner… there is a loser… no one likes losing!


• WE MUST Focus on Christ’s humility.


• There are rewards…God is Proud… You are a better Student/child/friend, others are better.

We concluded the message with a poem by Emily Dickinson:
"A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day."

Make your words and your actions count for building others up. In the context of your life “Beyond the Yearbook” the words and support that are said to you and by you today, will certainly affect your future!